Counsellor October

The Law of Reciprocity - 2

from: Hazrat Inayat Khan:

'Art of Personality'

(see also Topic)

You can listen to all themes here

In friendship we must realize that a friend inferior in position or poorer in life than we are should not for one moment be regarded as such. When he is a friend, in whatever condition he may be or whatever position he may occupy, he must be considered our equal; and the same spirit of equality should be borne in mind in dealing with a friend, however high his position may be. Convention should not be more than is necessary for his evolution. The sense of difference must be avoided in every aspect of dealing with a friend. There must be no secrets between true friends.

The use of friendship for a selfish motive is like mixing bitter poison with sweet rose-syrup; and it is necessary to be ready, without the least hesitation, to serve a friend attentively, in every capacity of life, not expecting for one moment any thanks or return from him.

A friend, in the true sense of the word, is nearer and closer than our own family, relations, neighbors, nation, and race.

  • The secret of the friend should be kept as our own secret;

  • the fault of the friend one should hide as our own fault;

  • the honor of the friend must be considered as our own honor;

  • an enemy of the friend should be regarded as our enemy;

  • a friend of the friend must be considered as our friend.

We must not boast of friendship, but must practice it, for the claimants are so often false.

  • In the despair of the friend, consolation must be given;

  • in the poverty of the friend, support is necessary;

  • in the shortcomings of the friend, overlooking is necessary;

  • in the trouble of the friend, help should be given;

  • with the joy of the friend, rejoicing is right.

To be today friendly and tomorrow unfriendly cannot for one moment be called friendship; the value of friendship is in its constancy. Forbearance, patience, and tolerance are the only conditions which keep two individual hearts united.

There is a saying in Hindustani, by Seman, on friendship, ‘Stand by your friend in his time of need, like the reed on the bank of the river.’

When a man is sinking in the water and catches hold of a reed, it will save him if it is strong; and if not, it will sink along with him.

'He who holds no secret has no depth;

his heart is like a vessel turned upside down'

Gayan - Boulas


(Maheboob Khan, Hazrat Inayat Khan‘s brother, has composed music to a row of aphorisms of Hazrat Inayat Khan in the middle of last century, as this ‚How Shall I Thank Thee‘. Mohammed Ali Khan, Hazrat Inayat Khan’s cousin, has sung this song around the year 1956 in a concert in Zürich – here you can listen to it)

Gayan as E-book - click here

Vadan as E-book - click here

Nirtan as E-book - click here

(these E-book are free of all charge - use their treasures well!)