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Petama Topic October The Pain of Feeling Lost from: Hazrat Inayat Khan: 'Amin the Faithful Trustee – Act 3, Scene 1' |
‘Home is a world; the life outside home is the underworld, but this wilderness is my Paradise. I feel myself only when I am by myself. It is then that I look at the whole world as an onlooker. There must be some reason why I am attracted to this spot. There are many reasons, but how many can be explained? The heavy responsibility of home life and the continual struggle with the outside world; the smallness of human character; the ever-changing nature of life; the falsehood that exists in the life of the generality; the absence of justice and the lack of wisdom; all these and many other things make life unbearable for me. Besides, the ever-jarring influences coming from all around work upon my sensitive heart and make me feel lost sometimes. It is only here, away from the continual turmoil of life in the world that I find some rest... And yet I wonder if my heart is really at rest. No, my heart cannot be really rested. If I am here away from the world and my fellow human beings are in the midst of the turmoil, it cannot give me the peace I want; it keeps my mind uneasy. What could I do to make the condition of my people better? Shall I work and be rich, and help them with my riches? But how far will those riches go to provide for their endless needs! Shall I be powerful and control them and rule them? What will that do? It will only turn them from servants into slaves. Shall I teach them goodness? But where does goodness belong? It belongs to God. I must seek God myself first before I speak of goodness to my fellow human beings. And where shall I find Him? If He is to be found anywhere, it is here in the solitude where my soul feels free. I become attuned to nature. I could sit silent here for days, looking at this wide space with endless horizon, where not even a bird makes a sound by the fluttering of its wings. I need not try to be silent here; silence reigns here, the spheres are silence itself… Oh, Thou, longed-for Beloved, if Thou are anywhere to be found, it is here. I do not speak, I will not speak; I only listen, I will listen. Speak to me! (Amin sits silent. A VOICE comes to him.) Speak to me from within my Lord The Ears of Thy servant are listening.
Vadan - Alankaras (these E-book are free of all charge - use their treasures well!) |
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